There is one hour and 17 minutes before the beginning of a new year will be coming in. It will arrive all fresh and new, filled with hope of a better year than the one rapidly coming to a close. I, for one, am glad to see 2010 go...in fact I'm trying my best to shove it on out the door. 2010 was not the greatest of years...for me it was a reminder that I'm human, I make mistakes, and some lessons I should have learned a long time ago still have me needing refresher courses and summer school ... a tutor perhaps?
I've had issues with health, spiritual issues, self esteem (that's always an issue), feeling the pain from the effects of decisions of other people. I've experienced sadness, loneliness, frustration...mainly at myself because I didn't live up to my own expectations. On the other hand, I've experienced a lot of very happy times; time spent in the company of my family and friends, the joy of spending time with adored grandchildren..I happen to think Hannah, Bryson, Kennedy, Hudson, and soon Rylan are the most perfect and special grandchildren in the world! (They take after me.....don't you dare laugh) : )
I'm definitely staying up until midnight...so I may say a fond farewell to some of the most troubling things & people from 2010. We have an opportunity everyone to start with a clean slate; a new outlook, and perhaps a new perspective.
Am I going to be perfect? Hardly...but I know I can improve on some aspects...something that has troubled me a lot is the fact that some things that I had planned for my life simply are never going to happen. It's really disappointing to know "what you want to be when you grow up" and realize, hey, you're too old to do it. One of my plans for the new year is to take some college classes online. Will I get that degree in forensics? I doubt it...but I can expand my world and add some knowledge. I may be older but I still have value and we're never too old to learn.
I'm thankful for my family...my sister Virginia and my brother in law Rip have been so very generous to me this year, well, really always. I want them to know how deeply I appreciate their help.
I'm thankful for the love of my children. I know they have their own lives and two of them have their own families, but I thank them for taking time to call me or stop by to visit.
I'm thankful for my friends. Carl you rock! You're always there for me even though we live in different parts of the country; I know if I need someone to talk to .. you're a phone call or text away. I hope you know how much I cherish our friendship! And Joann, we've been out of touch for awhile, but please know I love you like a sister.
Carlos, I've never met you in person, but know that you've touched my life. I love you as a friend and I think you're very special.
So, I'm loading up an imaginary boat. I'm putting certain people, things, disappointments, and other assorted junk on it. I'm saying bon voyage, goodbye, and good riddance. I tried to put diabetes on the boat but it adamantly refused to go; so I'm stuck with it but it should be warned...I'm in control of it and not the other way around.
Welcome 2011!! It's my hope and my prayer that this year will be the best year of our lives. "The best is yet to be." Well, so they say.
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year's Eve 2010
Wishing all of my family near and far a very safe and happy New Year's Eve. Be safe if you're out and about.
I will write more later..Hugs to all
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 29th, 2010
I think I'm finally learning how to appreciate living alone...well...most of the time. I still have my moments of longing for the "love of my life." When I come home from work it's quiet and I have the time to reflect on my day; the good things, the frustrating things, the things I wish I'd done better.
Today's list of good things include...going to work..I do enjoy my job and I work for/with some really amazing people. This year has been a very depressing year...accepting (still working on it) the fact I'm a diabetic and learning a new way of life. I've missed work more days than I should have; but when you're sick...you're sick. My employer has been unbelievably understanding and I deeply appreciate them.
2nd good thing today: my brother's birthday! My brother(Don) is more than a brother to me...he's my hero and always has been. I was born late in my Mother's life..she already had my sister and my brother (Don & Virginia) they were 12 & 17 when I came along. My brother was in the Air Force and later the Army. I never got to see him that much but I loved him with all my heart; he was/is one man who I admire and respect. My childhood was...hmmm..not the greatest and I'll leave it at that...but how I loved that man with the buzz haircut, the Army fatigues and that big, happy smile!
I called him on my way home from work & wished him a happy birthday; I'm so thankful he's still there when I want to talk to him.
3rd good thing today: my granddaughter Hannah, who is 15, got her driver's permit. Yay! Congratulations! wait..15??? wasn't it just yesterday that she was the little girl playing with her dolls, her horse figures? Where does time go...and why can't we call it back?? Wouldn't that be a great option? My Hannah has many nicknames including: Hannie, Penny, Twinkle, Geraldine to name a few. Somewhere I read that "a child who is loved has many names." A very true statement!
Thomas Sewell...I love you more than you will ever know.
Hannah Brooke...ditto the statement above
Today's list of good things include...going to work..I do enjoy my job and I work for/with some really amazing people. This year has been a very depressing year...accepting (still working on it) the fact I'm a diabetic and learning a new way of life. I've missed work more days than I should have; but when you're sick...you're sick. My employer has been unbelievably understanding and I deeply appreciate them.
2nd good thing today: my brother's birthday! My brother(Don) is more than a brother to me...he's my hero and always has been. I was born late in my Mother's life..she already had my sister and my brother (Don & Virginia) they were 12 & 17 when I came along. My brother was in the Air Force and later the Army. I never got to see him that much but I loved him with all my heart; he was/is one man who I admire and respect. My childhood was...hmmm..not the greatest and I'll leave it at that...but how I loved that man with the buzz haircut, the Army fatigues and that big, happy smile!
I called him on my way home from work & wished him a happy birthday; I'm so thankful he's still there when I want to talk to him.
3rd good thing today: my granddaughter Hannah, who is 15, got her driver's permit. Yay! Congratulations! wait..15??? wasn't it just yesterday that she was the little girl playing with her dolls, her horse figures? Where does time go...and why can't we call it back?? Wouldn't that be a great option? My Hannah has many nicknames including: Hannie, Penny, Twinkle, Geraldine to name a few. Somewhere I read that "a child who is loved has many names." A very true statement!
Thomas Sewell...I love you more than you will ever know.
Hannah Brooke...ditto the statement above
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
A Little More About Me
I am Mom to my beautiful daughter Laura, my handsome sons Timmy and Ryan. Laura has three unbelievable adorable children...Hannah who is 15, Bryson who is 6, and Kennedy who is 3. Timmy is single..he farms approx. 500 acres, some he owns and some he leases; he loves hunting, fishing, most sports and has a killer smile and a one of a kind sense of humor..he'll keep you laughing. Ryan is married to my beautiful daughter in law Erica. Their family includes Hudson who is 3 and Rylan who is due to make his appearance in February. Ryan is almost at the end of a 6 month deployment to Kyrgyzstan (his 2nd trip there). He is with the Alabama Air National Guard..when not deployed he is a deputy with the local sheriff's department.
My children..........the loves of my life and all 3 as different as day and night. They have no idea how deeply they are loved; I would give my life for them. I'm so proud of them.
I know people don't believe in miracles much anymore but when I look at my daughter and Kennedy, I have no doubt about miracles being real. I came close to losing both of them when Kennedy was born....no matter how old your child is..part of you sees the little child they once were. It's hard..oh so hard..to let children grow up but they do and those days of little kids, noise, confusion, homework, runny noses, up all night with sick babies..it passes way to fast. And then we're left with the empty nest which is worse if you're divorced. The home that was once sooo noisy is now silent and your heart longs to hear those voices of happy, active children.
So, Barb does have a heart; though some may find that hard to believe. When I love, I love with all of my heart and soul. I'm very passionate about family, music, animals. I personally believe there is a special place in hell designated for people who abuse animals.
I love love love music, most any kind from classical to pop...and at this point in my life have fallen under the spell of the Cullens. I totally love Twilight..every woman, no matter her age, wants a man that loves her the way Edward loves Bella; he adores her, he protects her, he's devoted to her...<sigh> only in the movies ..
Ok, I've probably bored you long enough..if you've read this far LOL...more later
My children..........the loves of my life and all 3 as different as day and night. They have no idea how deeply they are loved; I would give my life for them. I'm so proud of them.
I know people don't believe in miracles much anymore but when I look at my daughter and Kennedy, I have no doubt about miracles being real. I came close to losing both of them when Kennedy was born....no matter how old your child is..part of you sees the little child they once were. It's hard..oh so hard..to let children grow up but they do and those days of little kids, noise, confusion, homework, runny noses, up all night with sick babies..it passes way to fast. And then we're left with the empty nest which is worse if you're divorced. The home that was once sooo noisy is now silent and your heart longs to hear those voices of happy, active children.
So, Barb does have a heart; though some may find that hard to believe. When I love, I love with all of my heart and soul. I'm very passionate about family, music, animals. I personally believe there is a special place in hell designated for people who abuse animals.
I love love love music, most any kind from classical to pop...and at this point in my life have fallen under the spell of the Cullens. I totally love Twilight..every woman, no matter her age, wants a man that loves her the way Edward loves Bella; he adores her, he protects her, he's devoted to her...<sigh> only in the movies ..
Ok, I've probably bored you long enough..if you've read this far LOL...more later
THOUGHTS FOR THE NEW YEAR 2011
Do we ever get too old to try something new? Here am I at the "young" age of 55 and I've decided I want to try my hand at blogging. There are several women at my church (we'll get into church later) who have blogs and they are just fabulous. Those women are so talented in so many ways. Among them are newly married women, married with young children, and even older women like me. How I admire (envy) the younger ones! They seem to have themselves together. One of these amazing women has 3 very active boys under the age of 9, she is a full-time homemaker, Zumba instructor, active in church and never seems to run out of energy, and is one of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet.
I'm not sure if I will be successful in my new endeavor here, but I'll give it my best shot. I'm hoping that the outcome of all this will be a more focused me..a me that can grow and become the woman I want to be. Is it too late??
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints aka Mormon. NO, we do not practice polygamy, 14yr old girls are not marrying men old enough to be their grandfathers
and YES we are Christians. I know within my heart that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us, who knows us, and wants the best things for us. I also know that His son, Jesus Christ lives...that He came into the world with love for each one of us..the kind of love we as mere mortals can only imagine much less comprehend. His atonement has allowed me and everyone else who has lived a "less than perfect" life to have an opportunity to repent and try to do better and live a Christ-like life. I was "encouraged" by someone at my church to try keeping a journal, which I plan to do, but I thought blogging might also be a good idea. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who is struggling and feeling a bit lost right now....maybe someone else can inspire me or offer help that I need..and (dare I say it) I might offer some inspiration to them.
If you've read this post and would like to comment, please do. I have much to learn about the blog-world and any suggestions or ideas would be welcomed.
I'm not sure if I will be successful in my new endeavor here, but I'll give it my best shot. I'm hoping that the outcome of all this will be a more focused me..a me that can grow and become the woman I want to be. Is it too late??
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints aka Mormon. NO, we do not practice polygamy, 14yr old girls are not marrying men old enough to be their grandfathers
and YES we are Christians. I know within my heart that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us, who knows us, and wants the best things for us. I also know that His son, Jesus Christ lives...that He came into the world with love for each one of us..the kind of love we as mere mortals can only imagine much less comprehend. His atonement has allowed me and everyone else who has lived a "less than perfect" life to have an opportunity to repent and try to do better and live a Christ-like life. I was "encouraged" by someone at my church to try keeping a journal, which I plan to do, but I thought blogging might also be a good idea. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who is struggling and feeling a bit lost right now....maybe someone else can inspire me or offer help that I need..and (dare I say it) I might offer some inspiration to them.
If you've read this post and would like to comment, please do. I have much to learn about the blog-world and any suggestions or ideas would be welcomed.
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